Your new Florida Gator head coach…
November 13, 2009 by Jason Curts
Filed under My 2 Bits
Okay…I’ve got it all figured out. I know where everyone will be coaching next year. Everyone is predicting that Charlie Weis gets fired from Notre Dame at the end of the season. Once that happens, Urban Meyer is packing up his things and heading out of town. I’m really surprised his house isn’t already for sale. Who wouldn’t want to live in South Bend during the winter? It’s such a bright, cheery place. Notre Dame has their man. The heads of Gator fans across the nation start exploding.
A recent “hot seat” coach, Mark Richt interviews for the Florida job, but his inability to win in the state of Florida doesn’t sit well with Jeremy Foley and he’s quickly eliminated from contention. Richt will wait a year until Jimbo Fisher fails miserably and take over at Florida State.
The new Georgia position is taken by Steve Spurrier, who wants to focus on all the golf courses in the state of Georgia and would actually have a shot at recruiting and winning with a marketable program. Any Gator fan whose head didn’t explode when Meyer left, has just given up on college football altogether.
South Carolina can’t break away from the Holtz family and ends up hiring current East Carolina coach Skip Holtz. In a related story, Charlie Strong is seen taking a flight to Greenville, NC.
Pete Carroll of USC gets tired of hearing about the SEC and wants to prove he can win in the best conference. That’s right….Carroll is your new coach at Florida. Phil Fulmer is named head coach at USC three days later.
Oh…and Lane Kiffin still sucks at his job so Tennessee brings in Tommy Tuberville as the head coach and Kiffin is demoted to “Assistant to the Head Coach.”Aren’t you happy I’m here to sort it all out?
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About Jason: Jason Curts is a University of Florida graduate currently living in Charlotte, NC (aka ACC Hell) with his wife Christy. Please leave your column comments for Jason or feel free to email him questions or column ideas to jlcwritingservices@carolina.rr.com. More information about Jason can be found at www.jlcwritingservices.com. |
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Gator Nation Worthy?
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ROTFLMAO – are you out of your mind? Wishful thinking; a TRUE Gator fan woundn’t be talking like this.
Unless you’re being sarcastic – which I hope to God you are – the head coach at Florida next year will be URBAN MEYER. I mean, what part of “I’m not going to Notre Dame – EVER” can’t you seem to understand?
Gator Nation Worthy?
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Why is it that people find it so hard to read sarcasm?
Gator Nation Worthy?
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Why is it so hard for others to be so quick on the trigger to come out swinging right away?
I know he was saying that tongue-in-cheek, I just wanted to make sure. I’m sick and effing tired of all these bullshit rumors lately that I failed to see any humor in this, THAT’s why I reacted the way I did.
Fair enough?