Your new Florida Gator head coach…

Okay…I’ve got it all figured out. I know where everyone will be coaching next year. Everyone is predicting that Charlie Weis gets fired from Notre Dame at the end of the season. Once that happens, Urban Meyer is packing up his things and heading out of town. I’m really surprised his house isn’t already for sale.  Who wouldn’t want to live in South Bend during the winter? It’s such a bright, cheery place.  Notre Dame has their man. The heads of Gator fans across the nation start exploding.

A recent “hot seat” coach, Mark Richt interviews for the Florida job, but his inability to win in the state of Florida doesn’t sit well with Jeremy Foley and he’s quickly eliminated from contention. Richt will wait a year until Jimbo Fisher fails miserably and take over at Florida State.

The new Georgia position is taken by Steve Spurrier, who wants to focus on all the golf courses in the state of Georgia and would actually have a shot at recruiting and winning with a marketable program. Any Gator fan whose head didn’t explode when Meyer left, has just given up on college football altogether.

South Carolina can’t break away from the Holtz family and ends up hiring current East Carolina coach Skip Holtz. In a related story, Charlie Strong is seen taking a flight to Greenville, NC.

Pete Carroll of USC gets tired of hearing about the SEC and wants to prove he can win in the best conference. That’s right….Carroll is your new coach at Florida. Phil Fulmer is named head coach at USC three days later.

Oh…and Lane Kiffin still sucks at his job so Tennessee brings in Tommy Tuberville as the head coach and Kiffin is demoted to “Assistant to the Head Coach.”Aren’t you happy I’m here to sort it all out?